Cross Ange Final Impressions

Cross Ange

Cross Ange is amazing. No, it’s not good. Don’t even think for a second that I think it’s good. If you sit there and think Cross Ange is a good show and not ridiculously stupid garbage, you’re probably a huge gross tool.

But Cross Ange is amazing. Once I started watching I couldn’t stop because, my lord, it’s just so stupid. It’s impossibly stupid. It’s so stupid that you can’t be mad at it for being stupid because you’re akncolwedging that it’s dumb and you continue and what do you get? You get constantly rewarded because the show just outdoes itself over and over and over and is just so consistently stupid and ridiculous that it’s amazing.

I can’t call it a trainwreck because it’s like the train was never on the tracks to begin with. They finished making the train and then someone activated this and the train just flew off into space.

Cross Ange

I had originally watched the first episode that sparked that huge firestorm and didn’t continue further because, uh, it looked dumb.

I just hadn’t anticipated how dumb it was. And it’s the kind of show that’s sad to watch alone. Watching it with someone else improved the experience vastly because it helped me process the fact that yes, he really did just faceplant into her crotch for the third time but during a montage.

It helped assure me that I wasn’t going insane, that it wasn’t some bizarre fever dream and it was all very real.

Cross Ange

Sylvia

like what the fuck is this even m8

Seriously every time I thought I had Cross Ange figured out, it pulled some new crazy stunt. Character I didn’t expect to die dies horribly? SWERVE. Super jerk secretly wants to be a magical girl? SWERVE. The sister is evil too? SWERVE. Dragons are people? SWERVE. Dragon is magic? SWERVE. Sudden drag racing/golf/half-naked twister? SWERVE??

And you know what really gets me? The show knew full well how dumb it was. Maybe they took themselves a little seriously but like, they knew. The preview points out almost everything that’s dumb and wrong with the show 1. It’s fourth wall breaking, tongue in cheek little comments were a highlight every episode. So if you do, for some reason, watch this maybe watch the previews just because.

Cross Ange

Cross Ange

Cross Ange

Ange, understandably, gets the most character development 2 out of every character and even that is dubious at best. Despite having been sheltered her whole life and having had Momoka do everything for her, she suddenly becomes a stone cold badass within the course of like, a day?

But then when she’s around Tusk later on she seems to forget that she is a stone cold badass and turns into a squeamish bratty child again. Which I guess you could say is understandable given that the old of her should still exist somewhere but she didn’t even act that way around Momoka in the downtimes between Big Plot Happenings.

Cross Ange

What I’m getting at is that Ange’s characterization is extremely inconsistent. They seem to pull her in multiple directions that just make the rest of her characterization look weird and bad (with emphasis on the episode right after she cuts her hair).

That being said, Ange is moy favourite character after Hilda. Because while Ange seems inconsistent at times, I do appreciate her “I seriously do not give a fuck, fuck off forever” attitude that REALISTICALLY more characters should have in other shows.

She went through a ton of bad stuff and people were completely awful to her. So when those same people turn around and say they need her help, what’s the appropriate response? Fuck you, obviously. Ange straight up shoots a guy in the head for evening asking.

Cross Ange

And at the end of the series someone asks about “well, what about everyone else?” and Ange is like “lol I don’t care”. And I respect that.

Though I guess the reason so few other series do that with their protagonist is it makes them less inspiring (because people shouldn’t aspire to be as awful as Ange is) but goddamn, it’s so much more interesting and does so much for Ange’s character. 3

Cross Ange

And the other character I unexpectedly came to really love, Hilda. She gets a pretty lousy deal at the start what with being mean girl #1 and The Head Gay in Charge. She ends up a decent character who provided one of my favourite moments in the show.

It’s kind of ridiculous how much I ship Ange x Hilda, to be honest. Maybe I just really hate Tusk or because Hilda is so much greater than he is. Who knows.

Cross Ange

But there was one unexpected moment toward the end of the series that I absolutely loved despite myself. Hilda confesses, an honest to god yuri confession, to Ange that “she’s her prince” but it’s weird because their both women and Ange already has someone she loves. Ange responds by kissing her and telling her that it’s not weird, or that if it’s weird to who? To the people they hate and have cast aside? Again, fuck them.

Since it’s not very clear, I’m choosing to believe that wasn’t a rejection. I think Ange clearly can understand people and that it would be a cruel rejection in a way to do something like that, even if it was for the sake of reassuring Hilda that however she felt was alright.

Instead, I’m choosing to believe polygamy ending because why not. If any show is going to sincerly do that, I think it’ll be this one. Because like if they’re saying screw you to the world that rejected them, including by revelling with their sexuality, how does having another partner even matter?

Cross Ange

Ange x Hilda

Cross Ange

In any case, it was surprisingly genuine and though I get “Yuri Fansevice!!! ^q^” it still was nice to see an actual confession of feelings. Add Cross Ange to the list of things that have better 4 lesbian representation than Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

There’s also Chris/Rosalie but eh, compared to Ange/Hilda it’s kind of lacking. That being said Chris going evil was a GREAT turn for her character and made her more likable but also gave Rosalie some development too. Both had been mean girl lackeys for half the series so them suddenly being a little fleshed out was kind of nice, I guess.

Cross Ange

I was SO excited when Tusk “died”. But then this awful, stupid show couldn’t even follow through with that. Hell, they couldn’t even wait an episode. He and Momoka die in one episode and are back by the end of the next episode. That episode is supposed to clearly make us ~feel~ 5 for those dead characters and Ange who almost commits suicide but like, that’s the lamest trick in the goddamn book.

AND MOMOKA. This character is shot in the chest and then hit by a car 6, falls off a cliff and explodes. That is the definition of MEGA DEAD. But nope. The bullet didn’t kill her because SOMEHOW her frying pan was in her shirt (naturally) and stopped the bullet. All that other stuff? Uh… magic???

They don’t even try and explain how Tusk survived. He just does. I thought for sure Ange was dreaming his return or that Embryo was playing a trick on her but nope. He’s alive and fine because of course he’s alive and fine.

And so that first episode drama I mentioned that everyone knows about 7. Does it get that gross again? You bet your ass it does. Embryo, aka god, realizes that Ange is the perfect woman and will stop at nothing to have her. Using his God Power he hurts Ange real bad before “turning her pain into plrasure”. So she becomes very sensitive in a scene that’s as uncomfortable for us as it is humiliating for Ange.

Cross Ange

But oh boy, it doesn’t stop with that. The villain is a Nice Guy m’lady-ing about looking for an intellegient woman (so one who won’t disobey him) who uses and abuses all the women around him that he tricks and manipulates into loving him. When he finds out Ange has been “sullied” 8 by another man, he attempts to rape her to cleanse her with his love. And this is what? The second or third rape attempt in within four episodes?

His whole character is super gross and horrible which I guess makes for a good villain but like, you can make good villains without rape and exploitation so get that shit excuse outta here.

Cross Ange

Akiko Shikata’s OST was what drew me to this series when it was first announced (before I could possibly have any idea about how bad it was) and I guess it’s servicable. I might need to listen to it alone but I don’t recall ever being blown away in show. I do like Ange’s magic mech song thought the OST version is slightly different.

I guess all the Nana Mizuki songs are servicable. The first OP and second ED are songs I’ve been listening to a whole lot since I started watching. First ending 9 was kind of bleh and Yoko Takahashi’s OP is alright I guess but kind of illfitting.

Cross Ange

It’s weird that they mentioned they might do a second season if demand was high enough. After watching the ending (sense I had seen that news article mid way through my watch and thus leaving me dreading and curious about what kind of ending it would be), I can’t see a need at all? Like god, would I ever watch enthralled with morbid curiosity but why?

At the start of the show it seemed like it would kill off it’s main characters left and right but also, nah. So I guess the cast is still there and you could look into “rebuilding the new world” but there is absolutely no reason for Dragons to be involved so you lose a big junk of cast with that.

Well, whatever. If it happens I’ll watch it because it’s not like we can go lower than this, right? God I hope not.

Cross Ange is bad. It’s stupid fun if you shut off your brain, can stomach some very uncomfortable and awful scenes and don’t expect anything good. I don’t think I could recommend it to anybody if you’re not prepared to watch it with others who can appreciate how bad it is or if you don’t intend to get heavily intoxicated while watching.

Cross Ange Magical Girl Salia Hilda

Salia Cross Ange Cross Ange

Notes:

  1. such as pointing out how ridiculous it is that Tusk is still alive
  2. Using the term development very loosely here.
  3. An interesting detail I also appreciated is that Ange’s hair actually grows near the end of the series. I thought it was an animation error the first few times but you can actually see a change in length and that’s cool because obviously lots of shows don’t do that.
  4. and by better I mean ACTUAL
  5. didn’t work
  6. which comes out of goddamn nowhere on top of a building
  7. and made it easy to find out who are nasty people tbh
  8. for three days and nights
  9. Which is the same kind of ED World Break had so maybe avoiding shows with the cast scrolling to the side with space in the background is a good idea

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