Do you like investing time in something that will likely and rightfully be taken down to copyright violation? Do you like cute games promoted very, cery creepily? Boy do I have a game for you.
Moe Girl Cafe is a mobile game for Android and… I think iOS? The screenshots and comments for the iOS game look like it’s not translated all the way? Just partially? Well, whatever. I’m playing the Android version so I’ll tell you about that.
How does this game still exist? The character icon is Rikka Takahashi. I mean sure, apps gets away with a lot of copyright infringement from what I’ve seen. And maybe despite the countless anime series involved in this game, not every big company can take notice of some game making money off one or two of their characters. But again, whatever.
I found this game by chance and was drawn in by it’s blatant use of characters from Nichijou, Chuu2koi, Spice and Wolf and even Touhou. Intrigued, I installed and started to play.
I’ve been playing this game for a few days now and I’m not sure I understand what’s fun about it. Maybe I underestimated my skill level. I thought that a game where you run a cafe couldn’t really be that hard.
Instead, it’s miserable. And to close a reminder to real life, shaking away any ideas I might ever have had about trying to run my own business. I’m constantly just getting by, ending my days late and in debt. Earning just enough to go on another day, my money going to buy resources that will surely not last very much longer.
Well, I say that but I sit at 320k 1 because I’m trying to get that third cafe upgrade but it’s just so impssible for me to get past 350k. Constantly running out of groceries, over and over and then paying my staff a ludicrious amount puts me back morning, I feel like I’m making no progress at all.
I can’t stop.
It would be different if, say, I didn’t have to have the game open for it to continue on without me but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Though the Google Store page says
Earn coins in real-time, even while away from the game
This doesn’t seem to be the case for me. Maybe it’s just my phone or I’m missing some setting that I need to select first (though I’ve found little in terms of that). In any case, it currently requires that I have it constantly open to be gaining coins and doing business.
Similarily, it’s annoying that you can’t be in menus working on improving maids or your menus and have the game continue. It pauses so you aren’t earning coins (because nothing is happening) until you exit the menus.
Luckily the game doesn’t require much else from you. You can tap your maids to encourage them and it’ll give them a boost which makes them work faster. Do it too often and they’ll get annoyed though.
Something about this dumb game drives me on. What are my goals even? Surely, it’s acquiring characters I want right? The way to get better characters is with Moe Bucks 2 though you can recruit new staff with just coins. Their stats will suck though.
You can sacrifice maids to another maid to make them stronger but even if you fuse a strong maid to a weak maid, the weak maid won’t gain the strong maid stats. (i.e a lvl 1 with 4/4/4 who absorbs a maid with 30/30/30 won’t suddenly have 30/30/30 or 34/34/34 stats)
If you spend Moe Bucks™ on top of getting The Most Powerful Maids, you’re also more likely to get for realsies characters and not knockoff characters.
See, when you hire someone most likely it’s going to be a recolour of an actual character with a slightly altered name. The rare ones are the ones that look like and have the same name as their actual characters. I have Ika Musume and that awful looking girl from Date A Live, for instance. 3
There are achievements which give you coins and thank god for that. Early on before I knew aboutt he struggle for ingredients, I got to a point where I thought I had lost for good because I had like two menu items and no ingredients for either item. With no good going out, I had no money coming in and so I could not buy ingredients, the inregredients needed for the food to make money and you see what I’m getting at?
So in the mean time I sat patting my maids heads for a good few minutes until I unlocked an achievemnt that gave me 10k coins and we were back on the road.
Which brings me to something nasty I discovered later. The description for the game is cringeworthy. Like, I wanted to uninstall the game because of how embarassingly bad the descrption is.
Do you wanna be surround by adorable girls? Do you wanna own your exclusive restaurant? Do you wanna build your own harem? Do you wanna train your girls as you wish?
The harem thing comes up a lot (even in those achievements) BUT the game lets you play as a female so I can at least imagine I’ve finally gotten a harem of bad anime waifus from all the popular cartoons. Granted, it makes no difference on the gameplay at all but it makes me feel marginally better about the creepiness of it all.
So in the end, I’m not recommending or telling you to stay away from this game. I just think it’s weird that it exists. And it’s weird and sad that I’ve spent so much time on this dumb game.